The Wee Lass' and Pre-Conceived Notions

I have a sick 14 month old residing in my house.

I could just end this post here. I could do that because if you've ever been within 5 feet of a sick child you know how much work it takes to keep your sanity.

I think the nastiest part is watching the kids nose run into its mouth. Yes I wipe it, but wiping the kid’s nose is like trying to duplicate one of Houdini’s routines. Not even possible.

In the process of being sick, ms.chief has learned to climb-she was already a climber, only outside. She has never been locked in the house for any length of time. I am trying to get things done- at the same time getting the babe off the chair, table, away from the attic steps, down from upstairs, out of the bathroom, away from the porch and kept inside each time a big goes outside. Oh yes and away from the garbage can in which she likes to eat from or throw garbage on the floor.

It is in the midst of all of this the hubs wonders aloud what I did all day-I just pretend it is because he's truly interested, not because it looks like a large tornado hit just the inside of our house.

I'll admit there are a lot of days I just want to give up, hand the reins to someone else and run to some random fulltime job. I love taking care of my kids. It's everything else that I dislike; the feeling that no matter what, I can't drill in my hubs head that kid’s play, which is there job. Be thankful toys are all over and they are not glued to some video game, computer or TV all day long. The glue, marker, paper mess will get cleaned up after I clean up spills on aisle 3, 4 and 6.

I won't lie, I enjoy Facebook, freebies, couponing and don't always get everything done, and often the chores don't get done right away because someone wants to play, read, go for a walk or I am tired from the night before of zero sleep. That is just how it is. My job is part work, part play and not often do I get time just to me. When he gets home, he deserves every bit of my attention, just as my kids do. Hubs, you shouldn't feel left out just because I want to go to the store myself, which never happens. Its 20min of just me running in running out, but it's quiet and I can listen to hard rock in the car. I swear if we had a babysitter we could trust and afford, we'd spend more time out. Right now movies on the couch after the kids are in bed with ice cream will have to do.

The whole point is, we have to get over our own ideals for what we think the other person should be doing and just go with what they are doing. We are trying our best each one of us, which is all that should matter.

Gandhi and other freethinkers

Every once in a while, my kids pull a Gandhi on me. Meaning they get all deep and thoughtful on me. Gandhi was what I call a free thinker, he was peaceful and deep. Much like Martin Luther King, Einstein, Van Gogh, they stick out like sore thumbs.

I love this about my children and I encourage them to think for themselves, be who they are inside and never mind what others are doing.

So today at the bus stop. Thing 2, had this to say:

 Daughter " mommy who made all of this?" me "God created us and all of this" Daughter "mommy I don't want to die till I'm old like you" me" you won't die till you're older than me" Daughter "when is that tree going to die" me "whenever it runs out of light, oxygen and water" Daughter "can we have a snack when I get home from school?" me "sure"

Hunger always wins over philosophical thoughts.

Honesty is not always the best policy.

Well, I'm gonna put it out there. Chances are if you read this blog you know me personally. I'm not the most read nor most popular blog on the scene. So I am warning you, this is a graphic post about intimate details every nursing mother has experienced. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PERIODS, PERIOD.



As a nursing mom, Aunt Flo generally doesn't come to visit. She packs her bags and goes to the Bahamas. After a year and 21/2 months (who's counting?) I have shorted the dear Ms.chief to 1 nursing session in the wee hours of the morning.

Who came knocking on my door? Aunt Flo. Quite uninvited really as I was totally unprepared at a place where no pad was in sight. I managed to locate a pad, circa 1970-something, as it had a Styrofoam backing. Not Kidding. You  know the inserts in ground beef packages, that are like a lite Styrofoam? That was the backing of this pad, that and one THIN strip of sticky that was NOT sticky anymore.

When Aunt Flo arrives after a LONG time of NOT arriving, it is nasty, you get the period of a lifetime. It pretty much makes you want to lie in bed and dream you are pregnant again so this IS NOT HAPPENING!

So here I am stranded at a place for several hours with an old pad, cramps to beat hell and oh yes, the shits. I wanted to die.

I also wanted no one to be aware of my plight, I was after all at my in laws. 
I sat in the house praying 1. I didn't leak 2. we could go home soon and 3. that I would not have to Macgyver another pad out of a size 5 baby diaper.

After all that praying, a MIRACLE happened:
FINALLY it came time to go home.

The hour drive in the car was a hot one, all that Styrofoam traps in the heat, causing sweat and even more uncomfortable feelings of agony. Nothing like having a sauna in your crotch.

So... I implore you all women carry a freakin' pad with you at all times. EVEN if you don't think you'll ever need it, you just might come across a desperate lady in need.

I'm gonna go eat my double chocolate pudding with Oreo pieces and climb under my blankets now. Remember expect the unexpected, it could happen to you.

I could NOT live in Seatlle

All this rain, all these kids.

So a quick background on my parenting skills. I cannot cook well, I can bake things out of a box. I can ruin simple store bought craft kits and I cannot draw.

My entertainment for my kids sucks.

SO. It was lightly raining out, winter coats, hats, shoes, and socks I hurled my kids out the door. I had to get the big kid's bikes out of the garage, plus jogging stroller. I promptly set Ms.cheif down, in which she promptly took her shoe off and stomped in a puddle with her sock on, of course while I had my back turned. I locked her in the stroller, shoved put her shoe back on her foot.

By the time I got the big kid bikes out my other two kids were promptly arguing about hats vs. wearing helmets. Hats won.

Halfway down the block my son declared he would only keep riding if we went to the gas station. We live on a side of town that only has gas stations, 2 tire stores, dog grooming, 2 bars, clothing shop and a head shop.

The gas station is our hot spot destination. I quickly reached in my pocket. DAMN $2 was all I had. 3 kids $2, a gas station.

So 6 1/2 some blocks later, 3 plastic cups and 1, 99cent 20oz sun drop soda split 3 ways, I had victory.

 2.4 seconds of peace.

The Calm Before The Storm.

The atmosphere in my house as of late, is messy, chaotic and filled with things MIA. I can't find 3 main components of my house 1 being my keys with the house key attached 2 being my camera, must find before Halloween and 3 some paperwork I really NEED to have.

The house is trashed, toys, clothes, misc. shit laying hap hazzardly discarded from one task to the next. Not a wonder why I can't find the items listed above.

This frankly is the calm before the storm, using the bob the builder towel off the floor after my shower is nothing compared to the next 3 days of terror.

My bigger kids have 3 days off of school, I mean I really tolerate love my kids a lot. School is a great babysitter educator and I love sharing my kids with the teacher each week so they can experience the torture fun I have with them. However isn't it too soon in the school year to give them time off?? I mean couldn't we wait at least until December?



If you don't hear from me by Monday, check the pyscho ward.

Short Life

When I look at my kids, I am grateful for the joy they spread, for the lives they have lived albeit short compared to some. We've moved, a lot, my son is 6 and we've moved at least 5 times. We are not a military family, we've moved due to umforseen circumstances. Landlords raising rent a week before Christmas after my husband lost his job. We've gone through a handful of jobs, houses, cars and bad circumstances.

I always compared the places we've lived, rating them from different points, friends we've made, jobs, parks, school districts, houses we've lived in... as I look back each time I realize what made us happy was our family. Not the awesome park down the street.

We've always had each other. It takes forever to meet people in small towns. Most people have lived in a small town there whole life. They're not open to new people. We've usually spent 2 years or less in a new place. We've lived the longest where we are now.

If it wasn't for my kids and the hubby, I would've been REALLY lonely. They truly are my best friends. I realized this, as my husband left to do a lawn job, I had to struggle to explain why they couldn't go with daddy. They've always gone everywhere we go, I attribute the fact that my kids are smart and well rounded because we take them all over the place.

The experiences they have had outweigh that of an average kid. My son has learned to make friends, learned to find the positive in any situation, so has his 3 year old sister, my wish for them is to grow up and realize we've always tried to give them the best even if we couldn't give them exactly what they wanted.

Life never goes as planned.

The Post where I save my mom's reputation

I love my kids and I try to make sure they make good decent choices. I also try to keep a bunch of crap out of there heads, they can fill their heads with crap later on in life. That is why I don't let my son watch Spongebob. Hell, it takes place in Bikini Bottom.

When I was a kid I liked the song Chantilly Lace by The Big Bopper, my mom really didn't think it was appropriate for me to be singing. It talks about a guy and what kind of women he likes. Inoccent enough, but it makes women look like objects, a message my mom didn't approve.

Flash forward to now. We have these kind of songs: I'm Sexy and I Know it, LMFAO Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, Trace Adkins and a million others.

Most of the time in the car I pop in a cd or listen to country, thus why my daughter was singing "we're never ever getting back together" By Taylor Swift, Country is starting to make me think twice about turning the radio on a good friend of mine told me her son was singing 5-1-5-0 somebody call the po po, at the top of his lungs in the store. hmmm, I rather have my middle daughter screaming "I'm going off the rails of the crazy train! I know things aren't going right for me, you've gotta listen to my words!" By Ozzy. Which she has while in Walmart.

So mom, I thank you for being concerned, I did grow up, and Chantilly Lace did not fuck screw me up, in fact if anything it made me a better mother to my own girls. I let them listen to Ozzy spout these words

"Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate"

 but not these words by  Trace Adkins inHonky Tonk Badonkadonk,

"It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma..."

 Ozzy vs. Trace, Ozzy wins by a landslide.

So dear readers what songs make you cover your kids ears?