Honesty is not always the best policy.

Well, I'm gonna put it out there. Chances are if you read this blog you know me personally. I'm not the most read nor most popular blog on the scene. So I am warning you, this is a graphic post about intimate details every nursing mother has experienced. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PERIODS, PERIOD.



As a nursing mom, Aunt Flo generally doesn't come to visit. She packs her bags and goes to the Bahamas. After a year and 21/2 months (who's counting?) I have shorted the dear Ms.chief to 1 nursing session in the wee hours of the morning.

Who came knocking on my door? Aunt Flo. Quite uninvited really as I was totally unprepared at a place where no pad was in sight. I managed to locate a pad, circa 1970-something, as it had a Styrofoam backing. Not Kidding. You  know the inserts in ground beef packages, that are like a lite Styrofoam? That was the backing of this pad, that and one THIN strip of sticky that was NOT sticky anymore.

When Aunt Flo arrives after a LONG time of NOT arriving, it is nasty, you get the period of a lifetime. It pretty much makes you want to lie in bed and dream you are pregnant again so this IS NOT HAPPENING!

So here I am stranded at a place for several hours with an old pad, cramps to beat hell and oh yes, the shits. I wanted to die.

I also wanted no one to be aware of my plight, I was after all at my in laws. 
I sat in the house praying 1. I didn't leak 2. we could go home soon and 3. that I would not have to Macgyver another pad out of a size 5 baby diaper.

After all that praying, a MIRACLE happened:
FINALLY it came time to go home.

The hour drive in the car was a hot one, all that Styrofoam traps in the heat, causing sweat and even more uncomfortable feelings of agony. Nothing like having a sauna in your crotch.

So... I implore you all women carry a freakin' pad with you at all times. EVEN if you don't think you'll ever need it, you just might come across a desperate lady in need.

I'm gonna go eat my double chocolate pudding with Oreo pieces and climb under my blankets now. Remember expect the unexpected, it could happen to you.